In Wine there's truth
by Sharlartan
Summary: Harry discovers the muggle saying that in wine there's truth. What does this mean for the wizarding world? Only time will tell. Bring out the humour and the popcorn. Begins in fourth year
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here's the first chapter of my new story Read and Enjoy. Longer A/N is at the bottom of the chapter.**

 **I don't own Harry Potter**

Chapter 1: Old friends, New Friends

'IN VIRTO VERITAS'

'In wine there's truth, right? Wine loosens our lips enabling us to say things we would have never said when we were sober. Wine activates our subconscious and what we say while under its influence is what we really feel. So take a moment to really consider every time you've been drunk, what you said and to whom. In wine there's truth.'

Harry finished reading the passage from _Poetry in prose_ a muggle poetry book by the poet _Haven_. It was the preface to a chapter called The Mistakes I Found at the Bottom of the Bottle. Harry wasn't really into poetry but he had found the book in a pile of his mother's things that his aunt Petunia kept in the attic of her house. They were all muggle things but any connection to his parents was something that Harry treasured. Not that he would ever let Petunia know what he had found.

Harry closed the book put it in his bag and left the library, the only place he could read peacefully. No Malfoy or the noise of Gryffindor common room to distract him. He was going to spend fourth year as he had planned nothing was going to spoil it for him. But the truth is if something will go wrong it will that's Murphy's law.

At the door he almost knocked over Daphne Greengrass, a Slytherin in his year. She didn't hang out with Malfoy or any of the other death nibblers so she was alright in his book though they never talked at all. Daphne of course didn't know this so she was extremely surprised when he apologised and even picked up her books that had fallen to the ground.

Harry left without a backward glance but if he had taken a moment to look back he would have seen the ice princess of Hogwarts giving him a death glare. No one was supposed to shock Daphne Greengrass. Harry Potter had just done what most people had considered impossible up to that moment all without meaning to.

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"Hey mate aren't you excited about the other schools coming and the tri wizard tournament?" Ron asked the next morning at breakfast. Today was the day Beauxbatons and Durmstrang were meant to arrive and everywhere excitement rippled through the air.

"Not really Ron. I already told you this year I just want to relax and let someone else take the spotlight. You are welcome to it if you want."

Ron blushed bright red as thoughts about the spotlight and all it came with began to fill his head. Hermoine noticed this and just shook her head.

"Honestly Ron why can't you be more like Harry. This year he's going to focus on his books and improving his grades."

"That's where you're wrong 'Moine. Harry and the rest of us are gonna be busy chasing the foreign birds." Dean said grabbing Harry around the shoulders a perverse gleam appearing in his eyes

Ginny turned her head so fast that Harry was afraid that she would get whiplash.

"Harry isn't like the rest of you sods to go ogling those foreign bints." Ginny said a little bit too passionately her face turning the same shade of Weasley red that Ron's face had turned.

"Dear me Gred…"

"Oh my Forge…"

"Is…"

"Little Ginny…"

"Protecting…"

"The honour…"

"Of her crush!" They finished in unison.

Ginny turned even more red and looked everywhere except at Harry who was simply chuckling to himself.

"Well I think it's cute," Harry said making the poor Weasley girl blush more than she ever had before. The resulting chorus of awes did nothing to help her.

Across the hall Daphne was watching the events transpire with a disinterested look on her face. To anyone who did not know her that well (99.9% of the Hogwarts population) she seemed bored to death. However, Tracey Davies (her best friend and that 0.1%) had learned to see through all of Daphne's masks,

"He is pretty attractive in his own way."

That statement served its purpose remarkably well. Daphne's eyes narrowed as she looked at Potter confirming to Tracey who she was looking at. Daphne forked her bacon without saying a word to Tracey making the girl smile to herself.

"Since when do you fancy Golden Boy?"

"I don't fancy him. He just surprised me yesterday that's all." Daphne's voice shook slightly as she said this, a clear sign to Tracey that she wasn't being completely honest.

"Do tell. What happened?"

"It wasn't something he did deliberately. He walked into me at the entrance of the library yesterday and made me drop my books."

"So you are planning your revenge. How can I help?"

"I'm not planning my revenge because Harry apologised then picked up the books." Daphne chose that moment to stand and walk to class. Tracey was left alone at the table gaping at what Daphne had said. Gryffindor's golden boy had apologised to a snake. Was he going dark? And yet again without even meaning to Harry Potter left another girl speechless.

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The Gryffindors had potions first with the Slytherins and they were all expecting the usual series of events. Snape would tell them to pair up, give them a potion to brew, take points from Gryffindor and the high point of every lesson Neville's cauldron exploding and covering him in something new. Nobody expected Daphne to pair up with Harry or Tracey with Neville leaving Hermoine with Ron.

"Today we are going to be brewing a cure for boils. Do not mess it up." He said the last part looking at Neville but today he couldn't intimidate the poor lad. Tracey was already doing a pretty good job at it by herself. Ron was staring daggers at Harry's back for ditching him for a Slytherin regardless of how hot she was.

The whole class was holding their collective breath. The natural order had been disturbed and nature would take her revenge. Even Snape stayed behind his desk attacking the Gryffindors from behind its relative safety.

However, Malfoy and Weasley either could not sense the incoming doom or chose to ignore their sixth sense. At the same time both chose to chuck nightshade into the cauldron Harry and Daphne were sharing. Everybody who saw what happened swears that there was a breeze that blew Ron's nightshade into Draco's cauldron and vice versa.

Snape always told his students that potion making was a delicate art not for dunderheads. When making a potion to cure boils Nightshade is added at the very end because of its volatile and temperamental nature. Adding it at any other stage well…

Ron and Hermoine's potion was closer to being completed than Draco's and Nott's so when the nightshade got into their cauldron it turned a beautiful shade of violet. Let it be known that in the world of potions the rule of thumb is the more beautiful a potion is the more deadly it is likely to be. The purple concoction began to simmer and bubble violently then it calmed down all at once. Ron thinking it was safe peered directly into the cauldron when a bubble rose from the surface of the liquid and burst directly on Ron's nose.

Ron's face was instantly covered in warts, large ugly unattractive warts. Draco thinking himself lucky that his potion had not been affected by the nightshade looked directly into the cauldron. An orange geyser shot directly into Draco's face and for a full 12 seconds everybody was silent waiting for the effects to take hold. Then Draco's hair began to fall off. It started slowly his blond locks coming off in clumps then all of it fell down.

Let it be said that Draco didn't look bad without his hair. He looked terrible. Like a hairless ferret. Draco did not scream out in rage as much as he wanted to because that would be very unpurebloodlike. He stood up glared at Potter and Weasley asked permission from Snape and left for the hospital wing with Weasley closely following after him.

Nobody can say who laughed first but the entire class burst into laughter except Snape who was being a greasy git on the outside but on the inside he was cackling insanely. Daphne was looking intently at Harry waiting for what he would say. Harry though was too busy laughing to even notice.

"Hey Daph if having you as my potions partner is this much fun we should be partners more often."

Daphne just nodded her head and said

"Sure we can even be partners for the rest of the year."

Harry looked at her judging whether she was messing with him or not and finally deciding she wasn't he agreed. On a totally unrelated note Neville Longbottom managed to complete a potion without it exploding. George Weasley, Fred Weasley, Harry Potter, Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davies all got 5000 galleons from the betting pool that had been started in Neville's first year. They were the only ones who had said that Neville would ever make a potion without it exploding before his OWLS.

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The entire population of Hogwarts (minus Ron and Draco who were currently sharing a room in the Hospital wing) was there when the visitors came. Beauxbatons on their flying carriage and Durmstrang on their pirate ship. Harry was standing among the Gryffindor crowd next to the twins and Neville. Everyone was chattering excitably waiting for the students to climb down.

The Beauxbatons students were the first to climb down and when the last one got down a hush fell over the assembled group of students. She tossed her head and that simple move made the sun catch her hair causing it to glitter. The silence grew even more intense. She began walking to her schoolmates and that simple act of walking had the entire Hogwarts male population entranced.

Except Harry who was busy trying to understand what was going on. He looked around and managed to catch Daphne's eye. Apparently only the two of them were not under whatever spell the rest of the school was under. Harry decided to take a risk and elbowed his way up to Daphne to ask her what was going on.

"That last girl who got off is a Veela and people are falling under her allure." Daphne was not that shocked to see that Harry was immune to the Veela allure she actually expected it. What she didn't expect was for Harry to actively seek her out even if it was to ask a question considering Hermoine wasn't affected and was also much closer. When he continued to stand next to her she was even more surprised.

"At the World Cup there were some Veela but their effect was not this extreme."

"Maybe her allure is just stronger Harry."

"Well Daph maybe we can go ask her later on. We are meant to make friends with the students from the other schools."

"That's true but I have a question. Who allowed you to call me Daph?"

Harry laughed and stared right into Daphne's eyes

"No one. I do it for my own reasons. I like the way it rolls off my tongue and I find it kinda cute."

Daphne tried glaring at Harry but couldn't actually pull it off. For the first time in her stay at Hogwarts a boy had made Daphne Greengrass blush. Luckily for them everyone was too busy staring at the French Veela to pay any special attention to them. Everyone except Tracey Davies, Hermoine Granger, Ginny Weasley and the French Veela. Life was about to get very interesting in Hogwarts.

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The great hall had been expanded to accommodate the extra students. Beauxbatons was sitting with the Ravenclaws while Durmstrang chose to sit with Slytherin. Dumbledore was busy saying something nobody really cared about and Ginny was staring at Harry. It was beginning to freak Harry out so as soon as Dumblez was done he looked at Ginny.

"Is there something on my face?"

Normally Ginny would be a quivering blushing mess anytime Harry talked to her. Now she felt that she had been wronged so she had steeled her nerves for this.

"Harry why were you talking to that Slytherin girl?" That's how it sounded in her head. She sounded so confident someone Harry could call an equal not just the little sister of his best mate. Sadly all this was in her head.

What actually came out was "Ha…talki…Sly…irl"

Harry stared at her confused until Hermoine chose to step in and translate.

"I think what Ginny is asking is since when did you and Daphne Greengrass become such close friends."

Everybody turned to look at Harry and he realised that he had two options he could either tell them the truth or pretend he didn't know what was going on. He was saved by the sudden appearance of the Veela behind him who effectively distracted everyone from Harry.

"Are you wanting the bouillabaisse?"

"No you can have it. I don't mind."

"Thank you. My name is Fleur Delacour."

"I'm Harry Potter, pleasure to meet you Miss Delacour."

"The pleasure is all mine."

Without another word she took the dish and went back to her schoolmates. Everybody forgot that Harry had something to tell them and focused instead on the French girl. Harry took full advantage and did not remind them but he could see it in Hermoine's eyes that they were still going to have a discussion.

 **A/N: What's up guys I'm back with more madcap madness and a new story. All my** **other stories are on hiatus so that I concentrate on this one. I know the characters seem a bit OOC especially Harry but this is fan fiction and according to the constitution of Fan Fiction writers it is within my rights to alter the characters as I see fit. My story is AU so don't expect canon stuff. I have the right to change the timeline as I see fit.**

 **Tell me what you think in the comment section below.**

 **Favourite and Follow.**

 **Chao.**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Teenage boys and some teenage girls are a mess of hormones that tell them to chase anything and everything in a skirt. So it came as no surprise to everyone that conversation in the Gryffindor common room was dominated by the new girls especially the extremely beautiful French Veela.

"I wonder how her lips taste. I heard that when you French a Frenchie you can taste all the wine they've ever drunk. And when you kiss a Bulgarian it's cold as ice but it will be the best kiss you've ever had"

All the guys agreed with this wisdom as it came from the wisest among them in all matters female, Dean, he had after all introduced them to the joys of playboy and utilising a few animation charms that would make Flitwick proud had created a wizarding version. Wizarding families, excluding the Zabini's, generally shy away from matters sexual. Their version of the birds and the bee's conversation goes like this

Kid: Dad, mum where do babies come from?

Dad: Well you see son when a wizard loves a witch he holsters his wand in her…

Mum: OBLIVIATE

And the dad gets the special privilege of sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future.

(Conversation taken word for word from the Weasley's)

"I bet the French girls are all saying that if they kissed one of you sodding lads they would taste all the shepherd's pie you've ever eaten." Katie provided this little gem of wisdom making all the girls burst out in laughter. None of the French girls had even touched the shepherd's pie.

"Does anyone know any breath freshening charms?" said Dean apparently remembering the copious amounts of shepherd's pie he had eaten. Ginny being the helpful friend she is decided to hit him with the Bat Bogey hex.

"I could have sworn that was the breath freshening spell. Should I try again Dean?" Ginny looked completely innocent as she said this twirling her wand in her hands.

Dean turned completely pale with fear which was a comical site as he still had bat bogeys coming out of his nose. A quick finite incantem by George and all the boys cleared out of the common room to go and discuss the new girls in the privacy of their rooms.

Well almost all of the guys. Hermoine had trapped Harry in a corner and was grilling him about Daphne. Neville had also been roped into the conversation because of his new found association with Tracey Davies. The author was not allowed anywhere close to the conversation because of the look Hermoine gave me.

When Harry went to sleep he couldn't help but wonder why Ron and Draco hadn't returned from the clutches of Poppy yet. Harry's last thoughts before he went to sleep were

"Better him than me."

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In the infirmary Nurse Poppy had hit both pureblood children with stunners because they wouldn't stop being children long enough to be treated. There was also the added bonus of all the pictures she could take of Malfoy's bald head, Malfoy and Ron in the same bed hugging close like lovers afraid to be parted, Malfoy drooling…

Nurse Poppy was a good woman, a great nurse and overall one of the best people you would ever meet but she was also a prankster.

While the two pureblood scions rested in lala land she had the house elves make copies and put them on the common rooms of all the houses and also among the new schools. Tomorrow would be a great day.

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Poppy made sure she released Ron and Draco with only a few minutes left to spare before their transfiguration class with professor McGonagall making them run and get to class with only a minute to spare. They were both out of breath and drenched in sweat but they were met with complete silence. Even the professor didn't call them out for it only muttering something about lovers spending too much time cuddling.

Ron and Draco were too busy looking for a place to sit to notice the sniggers. Harry was sitting with Daphne, Tracy with Neville, Hermoine with Blaise and the rest with their normal partners. This left them with no choice but to sit together behind Lavender and Parvati the gossip queens.

There is nothing worse than talking in a transfiguration class so Ron passed a note to Draco asking why the Snakes were sitting with the lions and thus for almost 12 minutes Ron and Draco exchanged notes as Lavender and Parvati watched.

By the end of the day one question was on everyone's mind

When did Ron and Draco start dating?

At dinner that night Ron was sitting between the twins trying to ignore all the odd looks everyone was giving him when suddenly Malfoy screamed "WHAAAAAAT?!" in a very unpurebloodlike fashion. He stormed over to Ron and demanded they talk immediately after he finished stuffing his face.

"I wish a boy would look at me the way Draco and Ron look at each other; So much passion, so much heat."

The entire great hall had been quiet so Lavender's proclamation was heard by everyone. Ron turned so many shades of red that Dumbledore was heard muttering to himself "I wish my robes could do that."

That night would forever be etched into the legend of Hogwarts, especially after Fred and George loudly asked about the date of the wedding.

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While a wedding was being planned in the great hall, Harry was in the kitchens eating with the house elves. Dobby and Winky were busy regaling Harry with how the good nurse was playing a trick on Ron and Draco. Harry couldn't contain himself Nurse Poppy was playing a prank worthy of any marauder.

The door swung open and in came Daphne only to find Harry laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny Potter?"

"Hey Daph how did you know I was here" said Harry as soon as he had composed himself enough

"Well you weren't at dinner tonight, Hermoine and Blaise are off together in the library and Neville and Tracey are busy checking out flowers in the greenhouse."

Harry smiled at Daphne, she understood him and his sick twisted sense of humour in a way no one else would not even Hermoine. So he explained to her everything the house elves had done as the house elves tried to feed Mr Harry Potter sir's pretty friend.

"So it was Pomfrey who was responsible for the pictures? Everyone thought it was the twins or someone trying to steal their title. Do you know what Snape said when he first so the pictures? I always knew that all that anger was repressed sexual tension."

In that way the night passed with some people exploring new friendships, others were entering into the Triwizard tournament and Ron and Draco trying to figure out how to come out of this nightmare.

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With all of the excitement of the night before no one noticed that Harry and Daphne hadn't slept in their respective dorms so it was quite easy for them to sneak into their common rooms the next morning.

"I wonder who will be chosen from Hogwarts?" that was the question on the lips of everyone and when the dust had settled the outcome would be one that no one expected.

" **DAPHNE GREENGRASS"**

Dumbledore looked as shocked as everyone else when Daphne's name came out of the goblet everyone except Harry and Daphne that is. Daphne slipped into the ante room while the room was still buzzing in shock.

Before the great hall could recover the goblet threw forth another paper and thus order was restored as everyone waited anxiously wondering what the hell was happening.

" **HARRY POTTER"**

Harry jumped from his seat whooping in delight which caused everyone to look at him completely speechless which made them miss the reaction of 2 very important people: Dumbledore and Moody.

Harry walked nay swaggered down to the head table looked Fred and George Weasley in the eye and said

"I saved the philosopher's stone in my first year, killed a basilisk in my second year, who really thought I couldn't outsmart a dusty old cup not once but twice. I am a second generation marauder, the first among equals."

And with that Harry turned and with a cape swish worthy of Snape himself strode into the ante room.

Fred and George Weasley did the only thing they could do given the circumstances. They stood up solemnly looked everyone square in the eye and said

"Tonight the cub has finally become a lion and it seems he has a cunning snake by his side. Three cheers for Harry and Daphne one of the many upcoming Gryffindor Slytherin relationships." And thus began a confused round of cheers that would forever be remembered in Hogwarts's folklore as the night Gryffindor added green and silver to their banner and Slytherin had a bit more red and gold.

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When the fanfare died down Dumbledore led the other teachers into the ante room to find out what game was being played. McGonagall and Snape kept exchanging confused looks not sure what they were supposed to do at this point.

Moody was smiling maniacally looking straight at Harry while the other eye was roving all over but kept going back to Daphne. Fleur and Krum looked unconcerned as their respective heads screamed their heads off (pardon the pun) demanding a second competitor.

Dumbledore finally got tired and screamed "QUIET" which had the intended effect.

Rubbing his head and losing the twinkle in his eyes Dumbledore voiced the question on everyone's mind

"Harry, Daphne what the flying fuck is going on here?"

"Language, professor. What is going on here is a well-executed prank worthy of the marauders themselves. I believe in inter-house unity and earlier this year I started to sit with Daphne, Hermione with Blaise and Ron with Draco," which caused everyone to snigger, "This was just a prank and now that it's over can we get the real Hogwarts champion"

Dumbledore looked at the two children uncomfortably afraid to be the one to break the bad news. Mad-Eye had no such sentiments as he gleefully looked at them and said

"Your lovely girlfriend is the Hogwarts champion and since you were called out as the fourth champion you are probably representing a fourth school. If you don't compete in the tournament the cup will strip you of your magic. And you might die but that's just a possibility."

McGonagall looked horrified at the thought that two fourth years would be forced to compete in a competition designed for seventh years. Snape wasn't sure whether to be horrified or delighted so he chose to glare, patented glare number 465.

Harry seemed to read McGonagall's thoughts because he said

"Well this is a competition meant for seventh years so if you take me and Daphne as one person we are in our eight year, overqualified don't you think?"

At that point Dumbledore didn't know what to think and the noise started again with Igor and Maxine talking the loudest. It reached a point where the adults noticed the children had left them bickering like dunderheads and they had to leave.

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 **In the halls of Hogwarts**

"I guess we are officially a couple now, didn't think the whole school would know before I did."

"I expected you to ask. Where is that Gryffindor courage I hear so much about?"

The Slytherin was completely unprepared for the kiss but that doesn't mean there was no response.

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Harry and Daphne missed the parties being carried out in their respective common rooms since they were kidnapped by a gaggle of seventh years from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff led by the very able Roger Davies.

We join them with their hands tied behind, their backs sitting on the floor without their wands.

"Well you little shits why won't you tell us how and why you tricked the goblet into letting not one but two ickle fourth years into competing in the Tri-Wizard tournament."

"Well Rodger I would tell you but you suffer from a very painful case of Neuro-faecal Syndrome and I doubt you can understand whatever I'll say."

The seventh years looked completely confused for a moment until a muggleborn in their ranks burst out laughing.

"Davies that little shit just said you have shit for brains."

"Ding! Ding! Ding we have a winner. Daphne tell our lucky contestant what she has won."

"Well Harry she gets twenty points while the rest of her team get an all-expense paid trip to Lala land where they will get a free cranial-rectal extraction."

At that point the muggleborn couldn't take it anymore. She burst out laughing but the looks her friends gave her made her stop.

"She said all of you are going to get your heads removed from up your collective arses."

"You think you are so smart, but we have your wands and there are eight of us and only two of you."

Harry suddenly got a very dangerous gleam in his eyes and said

"There might be eight of you now but I've seen all of your faces. Lay a finger on either me or Daphne and I will personally stalk you in the halls of Hogwarts until I exact my revenge."

Rodger would never admit that he pissed his pants from that simple declaration by Harry Potter, an ickle fourth year. Everyone had heard the stories, in his first year he had saved a rare artefact, in his second year he had found the chamber of secrets and killed Slytherin's beast and his third year was even more secretive than usual.

"Let's go guys we are done here."

"What the hell…Rodger did you just piss yourself?"

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 **AN: Hey GUYS I'm back. It's been way too long since I updated this. Thank you to everyone who has read the story made it a favourite and followed it. Special shoutout to all those who have commented**

 **Sharlartan is back babies**

 **Bigger than ever**

 **You ain't seen nothing yet**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

"Harry, you do know that you are my best mate right. So I only need a simple answer to my question…why didn't you include me in your prank?"

"I need someone to watch my back Ron and there is no one I trust more than you."

Ron stopped in his tracks looked at Harry and said

"Mate we are teenage guys. The only emotions we should be experiencing are lust and curiosity not whatever it is Daphne is making you feel. Stop with all the mushy crap and tell me again how you made Rodger piss himself."

Unfortunately for Ron they arrived at the Potions class at that exact moment. Ron immediately sought out Draco seeing as the Lion-Snake combination was still going on.

"Now class, most of the times you are all dunderheads with the exception of a few of you but lately you have been shoeing me a side of you I never expected…intelligence and cooperation. So today I'll teach you something a lot more advanced than potions…muggle baking."

When Collin Creevey came to the potions class to call Daphne and Harry for the weighing of the wands he was shocked to find a class full of flour and a smiling Snape. Let it be said that there is nothing more frightening than a smiling Snape.

A smiling Snape conjures up the memory of sadistic vicious clowns ready to devour your soul.

"Collin if you reveal to anyone what you have witnessed in this room I will personally stalk you for the rest of your Hogwarts days."

Collin immediately passed out his mind conjuring up images of Snape in a red wig with a bright red nose.

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After the weighing of the wands which, in Fleur's words, was equal to a cock measuring contest Rita Skeeter went straight for Harry but he was more than ready for her.

"Trying to seduce me already Ms Skeeter, I did read somewhere that you liked younger men."

Everyone's attention immediately focused on the pair with Fleur's eyes narrowing dangerously. Rita had never known when to quit so she eyed Harry like a piece of meat and said

"My dear Harry I'm not sure you would even know what to do with a lady like me even if I offered myself to you on a silver platter with cherry on top."

"Since I can't take your cherry you want to take mine as I feed from your body…"

"No one has taken your cherry yet little Harry? Word is you have a very fine firebolt and you don't mind letting witches take a ride."

"I don't think you want to add cradle robber to your long list of achievements but knowing you, you haven't ridden a proper broom since the Cleansweeps came out."

"Well Harry there's a broom closet here where I can show you that for a new broom to sweep clean it needs an experienced hand."

"Lead the way my lady."

As soon as Harry and Rita were in thee broom closet alone everyone looked at each other wondering what in Merlin's holy name was going on. Everyone looked to Dumbledore silently pleading, asking and he acquiesced.

He placed a charm on the door that would amplify the sounds coming from the closet and everyone waited in silence

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 **MY PERFECT MAN, RITA SKEETER**

Being a strong woman is hard because most men are afraid of you. They are intimidated by my presence, my beauty, my intelligence, my charm. That's why I like my men younger than me…

McGonagall took one look at the article and spat her coffee all over it.

"Minnie you haven't even gotten to the good parts."

A quick cleaning charm by Dumbledore and the newspaper was good as new.

You all know that Harry Potter is in the Tri wizard tournament and some consider him a shoe in for the cup while others think he is out of his mind. What you might not know is how good Harry Potter is with his tongue

Thinking that my years of experience would help me easily defeat him, I soon learnt that there were hidden depths to the mysterious Potter. Or should I say his tongue can find the hidden depths.

In mere seconds Harry had me against the wall pulling on my vast knowledge and experience in the face of what appeared to be in born talent. He gave as much as he took and it was soon that I demanded a break and a little privacy to compose myself before attempting to start over but that seemed impossible.

The Yule Ball is coming up soon. Harry is going to make one witch a very special woman that night or on any night he chooses.

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"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT"

That was the reaction of most girls in Hogwarts when word of the article spread but my attention was on Ginny, Fleur, Daphne and Hermoine.

Ginny was in the Gryffindor common room trading gossip with Parvati and Lavender when someone passed them a copy of the prophet. While Ginny hyperventilated over the thought of some other woman touching "her" Harry Parvati and Lavender kept breaking out in giggles as they couldn't stop imagining Harry's tongue.

"You do remember that he is a parselmouth. Snakes have really long tongues and they know how to use them."'

Hermoine, Blaise, Daphne, Tracey and Neville were in the library reading up on some herbology when Draco dropped a copy of the prophet right in front of them.

"Looks like your boyfriend is into older women now, Daphne. How will you ever survive?"

"I won't run into the arms of my Weasley boyfriend that's for sure Draco. How is daddy taking the news of your relationship? Or haven't you told him yet?"

"And where are Crabbe and Goyle? Have they declared their endless love for each other and dumped the third wheel yet?"

Everybody looked at Neville in awe…

"What! Tracey is rubbing off on me in more ways than one."

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"The English are vulgar even in their newspapers"

"But if half of what is written here is true…Fleur you will introduce us to Harry, non?"

Fleur looked at her two best friends, Marie and Caroline, and thought to herself how wrong they were. Harry Potter was an interesting young man playing a very dangerous game and she wouldn't mind getting personal with him as well.

"Fleur are you blushing…"

"What are you imagining doing to Harry?"

"Well if you must now I'm imagining kissing his lips, properly kissing not whatever these English do, then I'd move to his neck and place gentle kisses on it…He'd be powerless against me."

Marie and Caroline looked at each other then moved a bit away from Fleur making her burst into laughter.

"And I would teach him how to properly please a woman."

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That day was more awkward for Harry than any other in his life. A seventh year Ravenclaw waked seductively to him and whispered in his ear

"I heard about the challenge you issued, look for me and I'll show you that there is a woman in Hogwarts worthy of the great Harry Potter."

She finished by giving him a deep kiss which earned her a death glare from Daphne.

"Harry hope you don't mind if I kiss your girlfriend."

Before Harry or Daphne could fathom what she had said the girl had kissed Daphne so deeply that Daphne was left breathless. The girl turned to walk away but Daphne grabbed her by the waist and kissed her again this time making sure that she controlled the kiss.

The girl smiled in Daphne's arms and whispered in her ear

"I wouldn't mind both of you"

 **AN: A filler chapter before we get to the good parts. Hope you liked the article in the prophet because it will be something of a scandal in the next chapters. Shoutout to all the guys who favourite follow and comment on this story; I'd love to get your feedback so please send in your comments.**

 **And PS Rita didn't write that article**

 **In the next chapter we have Dragons, fire, angry Weasleys and French girls chasing Harry.**

 **I need art for this story so somebody please hint hint**

 **Preview of chapter 3**

"Dragons!Our first task is against bloody dragons."

Ron looked at Harry and was overjoyed that it was him in the tournament.

"You've beaten a basilisk mate. Dragons can't be much different. You can talk to snakes why not try talking to the dragon."

"And tell it what exactly? I love the shade of your scales please don't eat me I probably taste horrible. Malnutrition isn't good for long term flavouring."


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

 **AN: Hey guys another chapter to show you guys how much I appreciate your support. Longer AN at the bottom**

The morning after the Rita article things had started to cool down…is what would have happened if the wizarding world made any sense. The Daily Prophet came in first and it claimed that Rita had not written the article which caused a mass of confusion until the Quibbler came in.

The headline on that day seemed a little too explosive even for the quirky magazine.

" **HARRY POTTER: CASSANOVA"**

Here we go again…

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In the Gryffindor common room the guys were discussing Harry when he walked in

"Ron can I see you for a minute."

Harry and Ron went into their room and Harry exploded

"Dragons!Our first task is against bloody dragons."

Ron looked at Harry and was overjoyed that it was him in the tournament.

"You've beaten a basilisk mate. Dragons can't be much different. You can talk to snakes why not try talking to the dragon."

"And tell it what exactly? I love the shade of your scales please don't eat me I probably taste horrible. Malnutrition isn't good for long term flavouring. My uncle probably starved all of the flavour out of me…If you want a quick easy meal that won't move too much you can try my cousin Dudley. If you are still hungry you can eat everyone who organised this bloody tournament."

"Harry, relax I might have an idea…" Harry looked at Ron with more hope in his eyes than he had ever had in his entire life.

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Fleur, Marie and Caroline were women on a mission as they stalked the hallways of Hogwarts looking for Harry Potter. He had been avoiding her for a while and she wanted to know why. Plus Caroline and Marie were dying to meet him.

They finally found him in the library with Daphne reading about dragons and for a while Fleur was unsure of what to say but Caroline came to her rescue.

"Harry Potter it's such a pleasure to meet you."

"Hi. Do I have any reason to fear you? Will you try to randomly grope me or kiss me? And do you want me to take your virginity and make you the heiress to the vast Porter fortune? Are we destined to be soul mates because your mother read you bed time stories about me?"

Harry said it in such a deadpan voice that for a moment everyone was silent. Until Daphne burst out laughing when she saw the shocked expression on the French witches face.

"Harry I don't think that they are in league with Ginny's groupies."

"I know I know I was just practising. You must be friends of Fleur. Anyone who is a friend of hers is a friend of mine."

"Dragons…so you know. I was looking for you to tell you about them."

"Thank you. Do you already have a strategy for how to beat the dragon?"

"Mon Cherie…non. You are just trying to steal my idea."

"My dear flower I never steal from beautiful women unless I am stealing their hearts."

Daphne just shook her at Harry's cheesiness. Caroline took that moment to assess Daphne.

"Daphne...how good is Harry in bed?"

Daphne had been expecting that question for a while now and had even perfected her answer.

She looked down, batted her eyelashes and let the blood flow to her cheeks so that she looked like a deflowered virgin regaling her friends with the tales of the previous night. The French girls subconsciously leaned a bit forward as if learning a deep secret and Harry started sweating bullets.

Daphne looked at Harry from the corner of her eyes as demurely as any virgin bride, took his hand in hers and said

"He was my first. I've never been with a guy but Harry was so gentle and when I was already used to the feeling of him being in me he used a combination of speed and strength and…"

The blush that was on her face enveloped her entire body and it told the French witches everything they needed to know

Harry's head hit the table with a loud thud.

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The morning of the first task was strange for Harry. The night before he had walked in on Hermoine and Blaise kissing in the library, Tracy comfortably cuddled in Neville's lap and Crabbe and Goyle holding hands. That wasn't the weird part; not even close.

The problem was every 7th year that had been against Harry for stealing their chance at fame was now coming to wish him luck. They were all saying how lucky they were that he was the one representing Hogwarts not them. If he had killed a dark lord when he was a baby he could face anything.

When he walked into the champion's tent the feeling was still there but it was more intense now more than ever. No one was talking as everyone seemed to be deep in their own thoughts so Harry started singing an old drinking song he had heard Uncle Vernon sing.

 _Dear Penis_

 _I don't think I like you anymore_

 _You used to watch me shave_

 _Now all ya do is stare at the floor_

 _Oh dear penis_

 _I don't like you anymore_

 _It used to be you and me_

 _A paper towel and a dirty magazine_

 _That's all we needed to get by_

 _Now it seems that things have changed_

 _And I think you are the one to blame_

 _Dear Penis I don't like you anymore_

 _ **He sings**_

To Harry's surprise Krum beat him to the next verse

 _Dear Rodney_

 _I don't think I like you anymore_

 _Coz when you get to drinking_

 _You put me in places I've never been before_

 _Dear Rodney I don't like you anymore_

 _Why can't we get a grip?_

 _On our man to hand relationship_

 _Come to terms with truly how we feel_

 _If we put our heads together_

 _We'd just stay home forever_

 _Dear penis I think I like you after all_

 _Oh and Rodney_

 _While you're shaving shave my balls_

While Harry and Krum had been singing Daphne and Fleur had been humming along giving the song a bit of harmony. Unbeknown to any of them Ludo had used a spell to make the whole crowd see them and hear what they were singing. As soon as they were done they had him scream

"Ladies and gentlemen your CHAMPIONS!"

Ludo came in all smiles and said

"Now that's how to start a show the entire crowd is buzzing for you now. Pick your dragons and we won't keep the crowd waiting."

Harry ended up with the most vicious dragon he had ever seen, it even bit him.

This was going to be epic…

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When Harry was called out after all the champions had dealt with their dragons the crowd went wild. This Tri wizard tournament was even better than what anyone had anticipated or even read about.

When Harry's Dragon was lead out everyone took a collective breath.

It had the darkest scales anyone had ever seen and its tail was spiked…its teeth were razor sharp and it was already snorting smoke from its nostrils. It's eyes were a nasty shade of yellow with thin black slits which it immediately fixed on Harry.

It unleashed a belly deep roar as soon as the handlers were gone as if daring Harry to come close to it or its nest. The crowd were silent in their anticipation even the judges seemed in awe of the beast. Dumbledore was heard saying "Holy Shit. That's a nasty motherfucker." Snoop Dogg was somewhere in the crowd and for once he was not high but his mind still felt high as fuck because that was the only possible explanation for what he was seeing. Nothing else made sense. So he just took out two rolls, passed one over to Dumbledore and said "Let's see what happens."

Harry smiled and took out his wand.

" **Noctem!** "

The spell took everyone by surprise because it did nothing. The dragon looked confused because normally when the little two legged ones took their magic sticks and spoke in their strange tongue something happened.

" _Well that didn't work. Hey Dragon can you understand Parseltongue?_ "

The dragon was pleasantly surprised that this human was speaking in its tongue.

" _I understand you perfectly ningen. You are a descendant of the longhaired one who called himself Slytherin_ "

Everybody fell silent as they witnessed Harry and the Dragon hiss at each other. The foreign students were especially in awe.

"Harry Potter can talk to dragons."

The headlines with Harry usually write themselves.

" _I'm not sure whether I am a descendant of Slytherin but I am Harry Potter. I understand Dragons and all magical races are fans of the Quibbler._ "

" _So you are the Casanova…what can I do for you?"_

" _Let's give the people a show."_

" _My name is Emma hatchling"_

The Dragon smiled showing a row of sharp jagged teeth and sent a fireball Harry's way. Harry dodged just in the nick of time causing the crowd to roar in appreciation. Harry had taken cover behind some rocks and began setting his plans in motion.

" **ACCIO ARMOUR!"**

The entire crowd watched in stunned silence as a suit of armour flew towards Harry and began covering him from head to toe.

" **ACCIO FIREBOLT!** "

Harry's broom raced into his outstretched hand as the dragon watched cautiously. Harry mounted the broom the armour as weightless as his normal clothes.

He flew high into the air until he was nothing more than a speck in the sky to most people. But the dragon was not most people.

Harry stopped when he was sure he was high enough turned the broom around and performed a perfectly graceful swan dive straight at the dragon.

Emma shot a straight blast of fire at Harry but he was able to anticipate it and turn in mid-air but he wasn't able to anticipate the tail coming straight at him. Pulling off a perfect wronski feint Harry was able to avoid the brunt of the Dragon's tail strike but it still clipped his broom's tail sending Harry into a weird spin.

Emma began unfurling her wings because this was getting more exciting than even she had anticipated. Harry circled around her a few times trying to get his steering back in his usual control. As soon as he was satisfied he sent a large stunner to the dragon's head which didn't even make it flinch but the conjuctivitus curse behind it made her wail in pain.

Harry had temporarily blinded her left eye and that made her exceptionally angry. She rose to the sky and looked at Harry with her one good eye.

" _You'll bring me a barrel of ale to pacify me for that ningen._ "

Harry just smiled and said

" _Thanks for getting off the ground that was all I needed._ "

Emma looked at her nest in shock as the shadows around it swirled, took shape and took the golden egg.

The crowd was shocked as the dragon let out a roar and flew straight at Harry. A very large object with very high acceleration will achieve impressive speed in a relatively short period of time. Harry knew this and he also knew that the Dragon's tail was its most dangerous weapon at the moment.

So he did what any ordinary person would do…he jumped off his broom grabbed it and dived at the shadow. The dragon missed Harry by the slightest of margins as he disappeared within the shadow only to reappear beside the judges table.

" _Dumbledore I think that went well."_

The crowd went wild.

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In the Champions' tent Hermoine was waiting for Harry with an extremely worried expression on her face.

"Harry what crazy stunt do you think you are pulling?"

"Well Hermoine I haven't had you to advise me lately on account of you being so busy playing kissy face with Blaise."

"Harry…"

"Forget about it Hermoine you should spend time with your boyfriend but I miss my best friend."

Hermoine gave Harry a hug that spoke more than words ever would.

"I'll always be here for you Harry."

When the results came out Harry was in the lead with the others tied behind him.

"I wonder how the others beat their dragons…"

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The first task was the talk of the 3 schools for a considerable period of time…until the Yule Ball was announced. All of a sudden everyone was trying to find a date. Harry was planning to ask Daphne but he was told that Champions couldn't go together.

"Can't I just skip this bloody thing?"

"No Harry its tradition."

"Hermoine it's also tradition to keep house Elves but I don't see you in any rush to support that tradition."

"Just go with Caroline or Marie."

"I want to go with the most beautiful girl in school."

"Fleur?"

"No, Daphne."

"What do you feel for Daphne, Harry?"

"I feel what you feel for Blaise."

And Hermoine just stared.

 **AN: Another chapter and the first task is complete. In the next chapter the champions form a band, my own personal homage to one of my all-time favourite stories on this site. Harry has finally confessed that he loves Daphne but what does she feel for him?**

 **Remember to follow and favourite this story and add it to as many communities as you can. Keep those comments coming through and tell me what you think and tell your friends to read this story too.**

 **Noctem is a spell that does two things. It creates a shadow creature to pick up stuff for you and it allows the user to travel between two shadows. If you can figure out where I got it from you get a shoutout and cookies.**

 **Later peeps. Sharlartan out**


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